Overcoming Your Thoughts

We invite you to learn about a domestic violence survivor’s journey to break the cycle of violence by breaking free from the thought patterns that kept her feeling stuck in a violent relationship.

After Fabiola was assaulted and brought within an inch of death by her spouse, everything changed….. 

Gaining clarity about her situation inspired the courage Fabiola needed to take the necessary steps to break the cycle of violence in her family. She began by examining the thought processes that nurtured unhealthy beliefs and dependencies. Then with the help of Caminar Latino she tapped into her inner strength and managed to change her life for the better. This is her story:

What was your life like before Caminar Latino?

Before Caminar Latino, I was in a codependent relationship with my spouse. He was violent and I would excuse his behavior and even take responsibility for it. He was under a lot of stress because of his immigration status. He felt insecure about his future and was also under financial pressure because of the amount of money he was spending on legal fees. He lashed out and was violent with me. He projected his anger and insecurities on me often and I let him. He neglected and mistreated our daughter and I made excuses for that as well. One day he assaulted me and the injuries were so severe that I could have died and it served as a wake-up call for me.

How has Caminar Latino helped you?

I was struggling to get out of the vicious cycle when I came to Caminar Latino. I wanted to stop making excuses for him and to learn better ways to handle the violent behavior but I just didn’t know how. We were trapped in a pattern. He would hurt me, then apologize and I would rationalize that his behavior was understandable then the process would repeat all over again. Caminar Latino helped me work through these thought patterns that kept me feeling stuck in the cycle. The counseling and support groups at Caminar Latino helped me develop healthier ways of processing what was happening. I received support for my daughter as well. Her father’s behavior with me affected her a lot  and eventually we left him and started a new life.  I had previously been afraid to call the police when he hurt me, but now I know it had to be done for safety reasons.

How has life changed and what are your plans?

The emotional, psychological and even spiritual support we received at Caminar Latino made it possible to change our lives for the better. Our life is different and peaceful. I can do simple things like go to the grocery store and spend time with my friends, that I just couldn’t do freely before. My life is peaceful now. I actually believe my daughter and I have a bright future ahead of us whereas before I could not even imagine one without him. I am happy and healthy and working on getting my finances in order so I can buy a house for myself and my daughter.

Why do you think people should support Caminar Latino’s work?

Caminar Latino helped me “see” my situation clearly enough to understand that violence is unhealthy and inexcusable. Once I was able to truly embrace that thought, I was able to take steps to break the cycle. Working past my excuses and my own thoughts was the most challenging part and I know it is a common challenge for people in this type of situation. I hope that more families like mine can have access to Caminar Latino so they too can have the tools to break the cycle.